Its 3.27 am now, during this wee hours of morning..everyone probably would be fast asleep but here I am sitting here and writing this post..Maybe the things that have crowded my mind is not allowing me to sleep so I've decided to pen it down instead..Maybe it would make me feel better or maybe not but here I am believing that it would..sitting here and writing this entry...Sometimes I wonder am I just too nice to people that they decided to use me up like my feelings doesn't matter anymore...I've been experiencing this odd feeling..This few days I've been helping out people to sort out things and suddenly the thought rose in me whether or not this person would be there when I'm in the same situation..then the past events hits me and somehow tells me that they wouldn't even care..Due to this, I've been quite moody lately or perhaps very moody.. Maybe I shouldn't take things too seriously, just let them go instead of holding tight to my bittersweet memories in the past.. After thinking for some time, the sudden feeling hit me so hard that I felt everyone around me wanted something from me and thats why they are with me..as soon as their work is done, off they go... I don't know whether its true or just merely my imagination but all these have thought me that I have to start living for myself.. I need to put myself first before anyone or anything else.. It might make me sound selfish or rather self centered but at one point in your life you just give up satisfying people or taking care of their feelings..cause everyone else won't be as nice as you do, they'll hurt you like no one else..and I'd realize its very much difficult for you to satisfy people as you don't know what they really want...No matter how much you do, you'd still hear them complaining as though you failed to carry out things properly..but what they don't know is that...you tried your best and they have got no right to tell you didn't...At this point in the post I've got no idea what I've written all this while, it just flowed out from me...I'm clearly very happy with the choices I've made in my life.. I'll never regret any of those, at that point of time it felt right and I followed my heart...In fact I'm very happy with some of the decisions I've made in my life..I'll continue helping out people but I've realized that I need to start helping myself too..=)
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